The most active mothers on social media document their children's achievements from birth. They show their followers breastfeeding, first steps, and shared leisure activities. The child essentially grows up in front of the users' eyes. While mothers delight in the "likes" they receive for recently published photos of their babies, the question becomes more relevant: what to do with children who do not want to be part of digital content?
One study shows that by the time children reach the age of 13, an average of 1300 pieces of digital content have been published. This includes photos and longer and shorter videos on various platforms. Parents skilled in using social media often share not only their daily routines but also those of their children. For some, this is a way to show off their child's achievements, for others — a good earning opportunity.
However, not all children want to be the focus of public attention. For example, a young girl under the pseudonym Claire in an interview with Teen Vogue talked about her painful childhood — her parents forced her to pose in front of cameras. Once, Claire even objected to her father, saying she no longer wanted to appear in his YouTube videos, but the father replied that they would then have to move to a simpler house, return to their old job, and give up luxury items.
Claire's entire childhood was spent in front of cameras and published on the family YouTube channel, garnering millions of views. Now the girl is waiting for adulthood to openly talk about the negative impact of social media on children.
Popular influencer Bobbi Althoff (@bobbialthoff) also speaks out against publishing children on social media. She has 3.6 million followers on the TikTok platform, but the author now carefully protects her offspring. Bobbi no longer publishes videos and photos with her children, she doesn't even call them by their real names. "I want them to write their own life story. My job is to entertain people, but it's not my children's job, and I don't want to impose it on them."
Bobbi also said that, in her opinion, people often forget: children will grow up and be very unhappy because of the identity that parents created on social media.
When Bobbi decided to remove her children from social media, many found this action strange. But now this trend is becoming more popular. Maya Knight (@maiaknight) also actively opposes publishing children in the digital space. Since December 2022, Maya no longer shows her offspring. "They are little children. I decided not to do this anymore, I decided to protect my children," said the woman followed by 8.1 million people on the TikTok platform.
But not all mothers decide to shield their children from social media. For many, it's an integral part of life - to publish idealized family photos. Lavish birthdays, exquisite dresses, and smiles, smiles, smiles... The most popular moms on social media seem to have a perfect life, with no place for childish mischief, quarrels, and dirty dishes. To some extent, they lure their followers into a whirlpool of fantasies that doesn't really exist.
They post happy faces from luxurious parties and elite kindergartens, creating the impression of an ideal mother's life, which is actually a paid advertisement for a product. "Instamoms" prefer to share only genuine moments, avoiding gray weekdays. Their children are always neat, well-rested, and never leave a messy room.
Dr. Charlotte Armitage, currently a psychologist on the British show Big Brother, is concerned about the idealized depiction of children on social media. "First and foremost, it affects the relationship between parents and children, they become dependent on the number of photos and 'likes'." The psychologist also noted that people who are satisfied with their lives are not inclined to demonstrate a perfect family picture to the public.
But she is most concerned that by posting photos of children to gather as many hearts and comments as possible, parents teach their children that the main thing is the opinion of others, not their own feelings. "It's harmful to health because a child's self-esteem and worth depend on the opinion of others, not on their own feelings," the psychologist explains.
It's also worrying that children's photos on social media can be used inappropriately. Classmates may use them to tease or humiliate. It's even more dangerous if such photos fall into the hands of abusers and pedophiles, which is almost impossible to control. That's why, for example, in France, there is now a discussion about a legislative ban on publishing children's photos.
A child unwittingly appears on social media immediately after birth, but this can greatly affect their future. "Children are often unhappy that their parents publish their photos. And not because they are told to portray an ideal life, but because they are then humiliated by their peers," said The Independent's Sonia Livingston, Professor of the Department of "Communication and Media" at the London School of Economics and Political Science.
But despite all the threats, parents continue to add photos of their children to their social media, perhaps even without realizing the potential danger.
